Love, virtue at the center of CYO Convention
- Created: Friday, 12 April 2019 11:25
- Written by Karen Bonar
Salina — Nearly 400 youth from across the diocese gathered March 22-23 for the annual CYO Convention.
This year’s theme was “Come As You Are,” and included nationally-recognized speakers Paul J. Kim and Sarah Swafford.
Both speakers wove the theme of love and virtue throughout their presentations.
Known for his beatboxing and straightforward talk, Kim fielded questions and dolled out advice Saturday afternoon.
“Love is willing the good of the other,” he told the crowd. “That doesn’t sound romantic, does it?
“If you think about it objectively, it wills the good of the other person, and it means it has nothing to do with how you feel, how they feel, or that one hot moment. It is about truly willing what is authentically good for this person.”
Yet in culture, it’s easy to confuse love with other emotions.
“There’s another four letter word that starts with “L” and looks really good from far away,” Kim said. “It’s called lust. Lust is using the other. Whereas love wants to build the other person up, even to sacrifice one’s own desires, to build that person up, lust is all about using that person and taking from them whatever is necessary to get the most amount of pleasure and then move on. You all are in high school. Have you ever seen this play out in relationships?”
In relationships, it can be easy to ask the question “How far is too far?” Kim said.
“Let me answer that in a simple way: It’s the wrong question,” he said. “It’s like asking ‘How much trouble can I get in before I’m really in trouble? It’s like driving on the wrong side of the highway thinking ‘How much can I play chicken before we get in a terrible accident?’ ”
He posed the question to the students of who one day wishes to be married.
“If you think you’re called to marriage, guess what? Your future spouse is out there somewhere,” he said. “But let me break it down for you this way: They’re not dating you right now; they’re probably dating someone else.
“If you have any sense, it should make you at least a little bit bothered that your future spouse is being played and used by a dude who has no interest in making some sort of lifelong commitment to this girl. He just wants to have fun.”
Swafford calls this the “Cycle of Use.”
“In our world, men will emotionally manipulate women, get them where they’re most vulnerable to get what they want,” she said. “And women will take their sex appeal, their body, because they know they can offer it, to get what they want, which is to feel loved or wanted or feel desired.”